I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
