At least make sure they are 18
Why
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize