Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
