Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think my moral compass just broke
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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