Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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