Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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