you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
