Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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