dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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