Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
