My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
