i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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