i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have post one night stand depression
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