She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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