then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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