So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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