last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my being single is dangerous.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
