Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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