No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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