Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
