I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
