we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
