my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
