I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
