I just saw a hot homeless man
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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