will power is for people who don't want to get laid
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
