what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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