I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
