So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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