He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize