my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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