hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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