another moral hangover. fuck.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
why is half of my head shaved?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
