Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
