I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
