Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
