the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
