community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i will never coherently bang her
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
