Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
