And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
