and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
