if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.