new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.