Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
