Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
