I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
