dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize