Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
