haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
