he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
