If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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