do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
