In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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