sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize