Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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