i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
