Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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