Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
