shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
