You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize