I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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