At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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