either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
