How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
