this beer tastes like vomit already
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
