My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
