just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
