well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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